The Dark Side of Pickling
Animal Gases – For stunning potential enemies
Indo-Chinese Warty Pig Burp – A burning gas. Causes painful snorting if inhaled.
Java Warty Pig Burp – As above, but double the strength.
Selected Worm Burps – Affects the central nervous system, causing involuntary muscle spasms.
Tarantula Trumps – Toxic fumes leading to confusion, dizziness and eventual madness.
Free range Turkey Trumps – One whiff can knock a fully grown man to his knees.
Earwax and Mucus – Sinister ingredients for foul potions.
Gorilla bogey – Essential in vomiting potions. Extremely hard to source.
Rhino sneeze – A rhinoceros cold virus encased in mucus. Vital component in disease based draughts.
Earwig earwax – Main ingredient for tinnitus elixir, causing temporary deafness.
Human earwax pickled with a dash of mucus – Rejuvenating and strength increasing tonic.
Verrucas – Versatile ingredient used intravenously. Not to be taken orally
Vole verrucas – Remove all strength and energy when entering the bloodstream.
Ostrich toe verrucas – Increase speed and kicking power.
Valentine verrucas – Very rare heart shaped human wart, used for love potions.
Barbara verrucas – Only available from ladies called Barbara. Deliver a crippling itch.
Toenails – Pickled in poison – Extremely Dangerous
Giant terrapin toenails – A curved scythe. Highly durable.
Rat toenail – Thin, long and razor sharp.
Emu toenail – A lethal bayonet.
Old man toenail – Usually in the form of clippings. Yellow in colour, cheesy in odour and deadly on delivery.
Beetroot - Never underestimate the power of a beetroot
The Oracle at Delphi pronounced that the beetroot was worth its weight in silver. Even Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, ate beetroot to retain her beauty.
The Romans believed that if a man and woman ate from the same beetroot, they would fall in love.
Beetroot was used to make Kvas – “the drink of knowledge”.
Beet juice put into the nostrils can relieve toothache and foul breath.